@DBStoner: I'll never get picked for jury duty because I'd be the one on trial.....
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@michaelianblack: Now that my kids are getting older, I'm worried I'll never have the opportunity to leave my wife for the nanny.
@WheelTod: [Office] *Dolphin accidentally dials fax number Fax:EEphkEekakischchEEek Dolphin:Well, I don't normally do this. But yes I'm free tonight
@TheAlexNevil: Her: I could tell you, but I'd have to kill you *she stabs me Me:..but...you...didn't...tell...me She: Yes I did. You never listen.
@GibJimson: The new guy at work has been getting a lot of customer complaints lately. Probably because I wear his name tag when he's not there.