@TheTweetOfGod: I'll never set a book in the ancient Roman Empire again. Ben Hur, done that.
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@Marlebean: "If I wanted to see a clown, I would have gone to the circus." What I actually said: "Yes, Claire, you're makeup looks lovely today!"
@dukelongboard: I crack my knuckles, turn to the cops and say "I got this" as I stroll toward the bank robbers and get shot in the face
@ticknada: Everyone is an atheist until you zip your fly up too quick Then its all Lord Jesus please help
@LackOfShame: Her: Well, I know I told you that. Me: *closes eyes* Her: What are you doing? Me: Checking for it in my spam folder.