@Tmoney68: I'll never understand women. A species that loathes you for asking their age, but tortures you forever if you forget their birthday.
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@JasonIsbell: If y'all are gonna insist on calling those things "hoverboards," I'll be over here flying around with my "jetpack."
@TheRolo: She says she only drinks wine to collect corks for her Pinterest project, which is pretty cool cause it looks like she's building a castle.
@actioncookbook: USERS: you're alienating the people who actually use your product TWITTER: likes are now florps USERS: what TWITTER: timeline goes sideways