@thefurlinator: "I'll see you in hell" should be followed with "and I won't even stop to say hi". Otherwise you're just making plans with someone you hate
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@robfee: There's not a day that goes by where I don't think about that Backstreet Boy asking his pals, "am I sexual?" & they're like, "yeah."
@AGStr8upNinja: Scientists say North America is going to sink into the ocean but we can change that. With a healthy diet and a little bit of exercise.
@QwertyJones3: "Honey, it's not that I don't like your cooking, it's just that the smoke's about to asphyxiat our family." "WHAT'D YOU SAY ABOUT MY ASS??"
@xysist: If Kim and Kanye name their next kid North West again, we can comfortably refer to the two as One Direction.