@Leggalicious: "I'll sleep when I die" - person who doesn't really understand sleeping or dying.
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@Steelers1972: Took the batteries out of the smoke detector to use in my remote cause I would rather die in a fire than have to get up & change the channel
@XplodingUnicorn: Nice try, coworker who offered me coffee. The last thing I want to do at work is be awake.