@Leggalicious: "I'll sleep when I die" - person who doesn't really understand sleeping or dying.
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@SadieSkyNinja: My spirit animal is a cockroach because I refuse to give up and die. Also I'm sorta crunchy.
@weinerdog4life: When I tell my wife I'm gonna have to work late she knows it's code for I was playing with super glue and I'm stuck to my desk again.
@LosLos__: •speed dating• I'm looking for a girl with fire in her eyes. Her: Hi. My name is Carrie.