@TheMichaelRock: I'll stop calling you a racist if you stop bragging about all the marathons you run.
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@duplicitron: Where do I see myself in ten years? I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*
@OhNoSheTwitnt: You know how dogs think, when you leave, that you're never coming back? That's how I feel when I leave the house for work every morning.
@Y_U_Hayden: Just clicked on an ad that said "Free Albums Here" But It linked to a download of a Nickelback album. Would have rather just gotten a virus.
@marinarachael: I don't know why we have three different pig emojis but it's great for when you need to tell someone a pig is slowly approaching: 🐖 🐷 🐽