@CulturedRuffian: I'll take a Friday the 13th over a Monday the 13th every single time.
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@Ndeshi_M: Don't buy Colgate whitening toothpaste!! Label reads: Guaranteed whiteness in only 14 days... 15 days later and I'm still black.
@IAmKatieOrr: HELLO? HELP! I'VE BEEN KIDNAPPED & DROPPED IN A NON-ENGLISH-SPEAKING COUNTRY & I DON'T KNOW- wait. Nm. Fell asleep at Szechuan Palace again.
@ifuseekamynow: I want to follow you back, really, I do. But the hash tags. My god the hash tags.
@The_Sculptress: Every night when you sleep,I sneak into your house, full of desire. I then reduce the amount of marshmallowy treats in your cereal&go home.