@CulturedRuffian: I'll take a Friday the 13th over a Monday the 13th every single time.
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@WheelTod: In the street today, an unattractive woman asked for my number, so I gave her a fake. Still feel a bit guilty, as I'd just totaled her car.
@Sickayduh: "What's this ticket, officer?" - Loitering "I didn't drop trash" - No. Loitering. "You talk funny" - It's not- "I'm putting this on Twoiter"
@UnderTheJewFro: I was starving earlier so I opened up a beanbag chair. There were no beans, only styrofoam. Im furious, Im hungry and I have nowhere to sit.
@naderdagher: If he pauses a video game to text you, he's probably already losing, no need to feel special or anything,