@BlindVigil: I'll take a low-fat, mocha, chai, organic-soy-milk latte, with a shot of French vanilla, sprinkled with unicorn soul, please.
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@KoKeniSasquatch: I like dogs, but it's like having a permanent baby. A cat is like having a permanent teenager.
@SteveSuckington: If a shark attacks you, punch him in the nose. And if that doesn't work, use your severed arm to tickle his belly.
@NotARatsAss: Make sure to stand in the middle of group photos. It will be harder to crop you out later.
@AdderallMomma: Folks are worried about global warming and social security, when the real crisis is that one day elderly drivers will know how to text.