@_NTFG_: I'll tell you what's wrong with modern society. Nobody ever drinks out of the skulls of their enemies anymore.
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@SkinnerSteven: HIPSTER COP: *into radio* "We've got a 13-88 in progress...it's a pretty rare crime, you probably wouldn't know it"
@rolldiggity: INTERVIEWER: "How would you describe yourself?" ME: "Verbally, but I've also prepared a dance."
@lisaxy424: I'm going to bed and my hair looks amazing; I feel like the woman in every mattress commercial.
@cstanleyrun: *Sitting at Gate* Airport Wifi- All settled in? Feeling productive? Me- Yep, why? Airport Wifi- Cool, let me just drop ou... *closes laptop*