@weenbeans: I'll usually order the chicken sandwich. I like my food to be more cowardly than I am.
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@haveigotnews: Apple announces iPhone bug that allows it to be hacked with a single click, in a 'more intuitive and natural way than an Android bug'.
@ashleyn1cole: WTF NEW YORK?!?!?! I carried a paper grocery bag with a baguette in it for BLOCKS and NOBODY FELL IN LOVE WITH ME.
@adamrensch: *accidentally walks into women's restroom* *plays it cool* *sits down* *finds comfort here* *changes name to Janice* *is alive* *is free*