@chanelsprinkles: *illegally downloads a social life*
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@Jasmin_Tatts: I don't usually spank the kids while we're in Walmart but yours were just asking for it.
@BeCoco77: True Story: A guy at the supermarket walked up to me today and asked me if I was on twitter. I said no. If you're reading this, I lied.
@AnkCoupleTO: Most guys will go gay for the night with the right amount of sangria & Foreigner playing in the background Don't ask me how I know
@FattMernandez: I just saw a pizza delivery guy get in a terrible accident. I feel so bad. Someone's just sitting around, wondering where their pizza is.