@itswrigley: I'm 2/3 virgin.
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@AllieGoertz: I asked my waitress if she thought me eating alone was embarrassing and she said, "I work at Cheesecake Factory"
@daemonic3: [campfire] And that's when he realized... HE FORGOT TO ENABLE WIFI AND WATCHED 5 SEASONS USING HIS DATA PLAN [everyone screams in terror]
@david8hughes: There are poor, helpless kids in Africa who really need our help. But there's also kids with machine guns so I'm not going.