@itswrigley: I'm 2/3 virgin.
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@LostFelicia: Hey y'all, I finally got a smart phone. I'm a big girl now! Anyone got a 5 year old I can borrow to teach me how to use the damn thing?
@Mr_Kapowski: Even if you're single, always blame a declined credit card on your fictional spouse at the register.
@thatUPSdude: Her; My phones dead let me use yours Me; (throws phone out car window) oh I must of left it at home