@thestlouisan: I'm 39 and I still don't know where to look when the dentist is working on my teeth.
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@michaeljhudson: I brought a t-shirt cannon to a knife fight. Everyone dropped their knives to catch their own piece of WNBA history.
@kumailn: Every text from my mom is the most heart breaking thing I've ever read. Until the next text from my mom.
@Fickle_Filly: It wouldn't be appropriate for me to comment further but that's not going to stop me.
@david8hughes: [first day as coast guard] Boss: 7 people died on your watch today Me [looking off into the distance]: yes but the coast is fine