@AnnaisAwesome76: I’m 39, If you invite me to a party that only starts after 10pm, I’m not even going to pretend I’ll make it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Vodkantots: Him: Tell me something interesting about yourself. Me: If my head got run over by a truck, it would explode like a watermelon.
@TeaPartyCat: An Ohio judge ruled gay marriage legal, as long as the person is dead, proving that the slippery slope now includes gay necrophila.
@tchrquotes: I always take a different store's tote bags when I go grocery shopping so they don't get the idea we're exclusive or anything.
@Sarcasticsapien: When people say things like "You can't change the past" I can't help but wonder what it must be like to have that brilliant of a mind.