@eliserose5: I'm 5'3. I may be short but I have a HUGE personality....disorder.
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@owillis: 2007: OBAMA'S COMIN' FER YER GUNS 2008: comin' 2009: almost 2010: any day 2011: seriously 2012: ok now 2013: i think.. 2014: nope 2015: well
@TheTweetOfGod: Jesus and Mary will occasionally appear on toast, or pancake, or waffles. Always breakfast foods. Why? Because it's the most important meal.
@TomHanksIsHot: If I ever kill someone I'm dumping the body in a cemetery. Police will find it and be like "oh yeah this makes sense."
@ahumanfireball: A perk of being in your thirties is waking up injured because you slept in a slightly different way than usual.