@EricGoldie: I'm 84% less productive in a swivel chair.
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@n_brayshaw: tried on a bra in Primark & it was nice so I went to buy it but there was no tag so the guy went to find a supervisor to get a code, comes back & goes "this isn't ours, it's a swap" so someone has literally left THEIR OWN BRA on a hanger in order to shoplift one AND I TRIED IT ON
@DrDogMD: COW: I'm constipated DR DOG: when was ur last bowel moooo-vement lol C: ur doing puns right now? DD: gonna milk this for all its worth lmao
@BillyYvonne: Two eggs, some bacon, and a piece of toast walk into a bar. The bartender says, hey! We don't serve breakfast here. #Tellyourworstjoke