@somelightcrying: I'm a businessman so I tuck my shirt in. There's a lot of money on the line so I need you to know that this is roughly where my legs start.
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@OctopusCavemann: [2 men standing in an empty basement together] Man 1: “Alright, maybe we should tell a few people about Fight Club.”
@david8hughes: So my dog's pregnant & she's never been in contact with another dog & I'm having a lot of accusations thrown my way.
@ObscureGent: When I die, I'm going out guns blazing with all hell coming with me. *Dies eating gas station sushi