@somelightcrying: I'm a businessman so I tuck my shirt in. There's a lot of money on the line so I need you to know that this is roughly where my legs start.
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@sofarrsogud: Hootenanny is just one of those stupid made up words, like 'ambition' and 'productivity'.
@ShutUpThatsWho: HOT GIRL AT WORK: I saw Death Of A Salesman last night & I really loved it ME: [trying to impress her] I've murdered 7 pizza delivery guys
@radtoria: Like The Purge but everyone is tryin to murder Tim Allen & become the next Santa. Pls donate on kickstarter so I can finally feed my family.
@vapidaccount: Dear ladies who wear black tights and red shoes: Please stop. Minnie Mouse is not a style icon for grown women. Love, M