@somelightcrying: I'm a businessman so I tuck my shirt in. There's a lot of money on the line so I need you to know that this is roughly where my legs start.
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@timdonakowski: Give a man a fish, feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish in highly-contaminated water, feed him for a day.
@ericsshadow: [hospital] DOCTOR: Your wife signed a DNR ME: I'm here for a sprained ankle DOCTOR: She insisted
@kadyngriffiths: Thug: *shows tattoos of tear drops* So I remember each person I've killed. Me:*shows tattoo of an oven* So I remember to turn off the oven.