@leyawn: im a cat and i FREaking love turning potential energy into kinetic *pushes glass off table* your going to feed and keep me for some reason
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@bourgeoisalien: Just accidentally messaged my husband "love you sexy beats" instead of "sexy beast" and now he thinks he’s some sort of DJ.
@badbanana: Man, the way these journalists are complaining it's like they only went to Sochi to use doorknobs and go poop.
@Ideal_Victoria: I’m at a stage in my life where I know I should workout and eat healthy, but swallowing a tapeworm seems easier.