@leyawn: im a cat and i FREaking love turning potential energy into kinetic *pushes glass off table* your going to feed and keep me for some reason
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@priya_ebooks: currently texting 'Happy Father's Day' to all the men in my phone to freak them out
@bridger_w: When a cop asks if you know why you were pulled over, respond, "I'm actually not allowed to discuss the details of the case"
@Donna_McCoy: If you want to piss off a narcissist, just tell 'em that subtweet wasn't about them.
@TheAlexNevil: It's amazing how a simple act of kindness can change my bad mood into a suspicious bad mood.