@leyawn: im a cat and i FREaking love turning potential energy into kinetic *pushes glass off table* your going to feed and keep me for some reason
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@KyleMcDowell86: *puts dreamcatcher above bed* "Sure hope this works" *wakes up in the middle of the night* *Ryan Gosling is stuck in dreamcatcher* "YES"
@ticknada: Girls holding hands with gay guys, you don't fool me. Oh that's your bf. You still don't fool me.
@iQuoteComedy: That awkward moment when you're scuba diving and you see adele rolling in the deep.
@juliussharpe: My wife wants to have another kid. That's like seeing light at the end of a tunnel and saying, "I think we better turn around."