@Gooooats: I'm a Civil War reenactor but I only reenact the time General Ambrose Burnside took a three hour nap.
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@Jandalize: Sometimes it's hard to nap at work. Like, when the boss is standing beside you or when you don't have a job.
@thegynomite: Every selfie you post should come stamped with a number like a limited edition print. "Attempt 7 of 25".
@UncleDuke1969: I've got 99 problems... <snap> 98 problems. <snap> 97 problems. <snap> 96 problems. <snap> BRB... I need to buy more mousetraps.
@Buncahn: [boy spreads his little arms] Boy: i love you this much daddy! Neil deGrasse Tyson: on a universal scale, that is an alarmingly small amount