@Gooooats: I'm a Civil War reenactor but I only reenact the time General Ambrose Burnside took a three hour nap.
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@jackmackenroth: It's saying something when you marry Charles Manson and you look like the crazy one.
@nbadag: ME: here's your bday present! BUDDY: [tries to grab it but it won't budge] did u wrap your own hand flipping the bird again ME: just open it
@trevso_electric: If you see a woman holding Fifty Shades of Grey, smile and say "congratulations on your first book!"