@RonanFarrow: "I'm a great listener." - The US government on a first date.
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@LunchJournals: "I'm a big fan of 50 cent. Or as he's known in Zimbabwe: four hundred million dollars."
@UncleDuke1969: I've got 99 problems... <snap> 98 problems. <snap> 97 problems. <snap> 96 problems. <snap> BRB... I need to buy more mousetraps.
@AndrewChamings: In an alternate universe there is only one movie about falling in love, but thousands about swapping faces with John Travolta.