@RonanFarrow: "I'm a great listener." - The US government on a first date.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@SteveKoehler22: Wait ... "El Chapo" is a Mexican drug lord .... and not the guy who's been stealing our Chapsticks for years ?
@BangMyBongo: Some say Obama is the biggest liar of all time.. I say, the person who chose the spelling of, "Colonel" is the biggest liar of all time
@jonnysun: in other news: 8 hours from now, half the country will be screaming about tragedy and loss b/c some dudes didnt catch a ball enough times