@RonanFarrow: "I'm a great listener." - The US government on a first date.
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@shkeeber: "No, you hang up" No, you hang up. "No, you hang up" No, you hang up. "No you hang up" *slams phone* Why do I keep calling that parrot?!
@NicestHippo: [guy who named the bedroom gets home] Honey? Our son got in trouble at the learnroom. His teacher called while I was driving in my wheelsbox
@Schmoodles: I will totally judge you based on your choice of breakfast cereal, you unfrosted weirdo.