@RonanFarrow: "I'm a great listener." - The US government on a first date.
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@ExBoltsFan: I imagine hooking up with you would be like asparagus. I’d forget you quickly but be reminded every time I pee.
@PS_IRuddYou: Just drove past a new typewriter repair shop... That's not a front for anything illegal I'm sure...
@Carbosly: Apparently, saying "make it a double" followed by an awkward wink doesn't work at the pharmacy.
@SICKOFWOLVES: BY THIRTY FIVE YOU SHOULD HAVE SAVED HALF OF YOUR RETIREMENT WHICH IS EASY IF YOUR RETIREMENT PLAN IS TO WADE INTO THE SEA