@TravLeBlanc: I'm a lover, not a fighter. So if anyone is giving you trouble and you need me to have sex with them, I'm your man.
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@imskytrash: barista: name for the latte? me: it's Zach with an "h" *two minutes later* barista: i've got a latte for Hach
@PeaceInTruth1: Telemarketer: Good afternoon, Sir. Me: Do you walk with a limp? Telemarketer: No. Me: Want to? Telemarketer: Thank you for your time.
@Northside_Mike: Decided to plant some marijuana seeds in my vegetable garden hoping I could come up with some dope beets.
@notalogin: The order the Star Wars movies are being released is based on the order in which Yoda would count from one to nine.