@TravLeBlanc: I'm a lover, not a fighter. So if anyone is giving you trouble and you need me to have sex with them, I'm your man.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@JohnLyonTweets: Me: Hey, don't assume I'm dying alone. I might find someone, you don't know. Waiter: I asked if you were dining alone. Me: Oh, sorry. Yes.
@awkwardphilippe: [Jedi Academy] Why do you want to be Jedi? [Imagines using 'the force' to steal everyone's cats and building a cat army] To keep the peace
@soanim8ed: Why do prescription pills always say "by mouth?" Where else would people put th... Ooooooh.