@pseudo_fred: I'm a man with a very specific set of skills. Woodworking, mostly. And so help me, God, I'm going to find you and build you a bench.
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@ryangriffiths: I don't think people understand the potential ramifications when they say to me "just be yourself".
@truegritrumble: (Halloween Costume Shop) ME: *leaving after not finding anything* CASHIER: *pointing to my face* Those masks aren't free, buddy.
@TheTweetOfGod: When you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, it means you've been using Apple Maps.