@MyPornKhan: I'm a married white male; my forefathers saw to it that I'm not allowed to be offended by anything.
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@awkwardphilippe: If you love someone, throw your earbuds at them. There's a good chance they'll be entangled in them and won't be able to run.
@qwertying: Ladies, if a man says he will fix it, he will. There's no need to remind him every 6 months about it.
@NikkiNeverAgain: Was told I can't use Wi-Fi at McDonald's unless I eat. So I am bringing a peanut butter sandwich.