@canadasandra: I'm a puzzle wrapped in an enigma hidden inside a set of Russian Nesting Dolls, so deep, so profound that - what? Yes, I'll have fries.
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@RandomManik: Taco Bell is planning on doubling the 'meat' in their ingredients. Unlike Cadbury, they're informing us in advance.
@daemonic3: WAITER: Ready to order? ME: First, I'd like to hear the chef's special WAITER: Oh yes he's very special [chef in background sheds a tear]
@therealeatwood: [Wedding] “…to join these two in holy matrimony. The Ring, please?” [Maid of Honor pops tape in VCR.] [One week later: everyone dies.]
@TheBoydP: I always feel better when my doctor says something is normal for my age but then think dying will also be normal for my age at some point.