@meganamram: I'm a real Renaissance Woman (riddled with plague)
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@TheTweetOfGod: Every time you sing "What a Friend We Have in Jesus" I'm reminded how much I disapprove of My son's friends.
@cosmicbibi: Research shows your medication is 879% more effective if you drink a 6 pack and a bottle of wine first. Also, I changed my name to Research.
@catcerveny: As my mother-in-law and I fight to the death for her son's love, I sometimes think to myself, "This may be the worst prize ever."