@meganamram: I'm a real Renaissance Woman (riddled with plague)
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@TheDreamGhoul: "you're breaking up with me, here? and now?!" "it's just not working out" *both continue pedaling tandem bicycle in silence*
@david8hughes: [wife gets in the car after talking with the priest] "What did the priest have to say?" "He said you have to stop rapping over the choir."
@JermHimselfish: Don't run with scissors because you might accidentally trip, fall and cut the grand opening ribbon of a new museum 2 weeks ahead of schedule