@RandomAntics: I'm a vegetarian for the health reasons. Now pass the cheese fries.
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@grimpossible: "Hey son, we really love you but we posted a picture of you on Instagram and nobody liked it which is why we're giving you up for adoption."
@DrawingShadows: Did you ever think that one day you would be this addicted to reading and writing?
@ericsshadow: [undercover FBI agent who's had me under surveillance for weeks decides to blow his cover] do you ever stop eating?