@RandomAntics: I'm a vegetarian for the health reasons. Now pass the cheese fries.
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@Chumpstring: BARTENDER: taste this beer ME: [tastes it] omg i literally can't even BARTENDER: it has pumpkin spice in it ME: hmm... yeah that explains it
@WilliamAder: If you get a present from me with scissors and a roll of tape trapped under the wrapping paper, I'm gonna need those back.