@Jason_Horton: "I'm a very private person" - people who are on back to back reality shows
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@PRESTONinCOLOR: Texts from mom: Thanks to the supreme court, now it's not just women who won't marry you.
@9to5Life: "911, what's your emergency?" "My kids are being jerks." "Hey, Christian, you can't keep calling here." "Are you gonna send help?" "..."
@RoastedPapad: [ Buzzfeed writer becomes a teacher ] "Kids today we will learn Alphabets. Here are 26 Alphabets that will blow your mind"