@TooTallWhoDis: I'm a virgin but I have sex sometimes
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@lcwf70: You said imagine my life without you... So I closed my eyes & am on a beach with a man who knows how to change a toilet paper roll.
@HeyoShellz: Target employee: Describe your lost item Me: It's a $400 rose gold Tory Burch wallet with 87 cents and 12 maxed out credit cards inside
@MrSandeepP: My ex is going to make some guy very happy one day but completely miserable the rest of the time.