@TooTallWhoDis: I'm a virgin but I have sex sometimes
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@Midgetspar: On a scale from 1 to 10 I tell people they're an 11. It's a fun way to let them know they don't exist and they take it as a compliment.
@TheHarmonster: If you think your life is awful my mom keeps track of my "cycle" and just told me that I'm ovulating and that I should mingle more.
@yenniwhite: Goals for my kids before I had them: teach them Spanish, only use positive reinforcement, never yell. After: get them to put on pants.