@mattvbrady: im about to go on a date. im sure it will be perfectly normal and wont go viral or anything...
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@BoomBoomBetty: “Live each day like it’s your last” Wow okay but that’s A LOT of flipping the bird at everyone
@radtoria: Like The Purge but everyone is tryin to murder Tim Allen & become the next Santa. Pls donate on kickstarter so I can finally feed my family.
@Jake_Vig: No, no, no, you don't have to engage in a long explanation of why you're single. We've spent five minutes together, I think I've got it.
@DillDoes: *secret agent slaps me* I'll never give you answers *he grabs my throat* "WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA" *spits* I'd rather die