@im_tommypickles: IM ALMOST POSITIVE THATS JUST A COOKIE
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@yoyoha: 8yo Me: *sneaks candy* 14yo Me: *sneaks cigarettes* 18yo Me: *sneaks alcohol* 43yo Me: *sneaks candy* Being an adult is stupid.
@elizabeth_fels: Romeo possum: [kissing] You're so hot Juliet possum: [plays dead] Romeo possum: Not cool, babe
@d_duhwit: Scientist: Your bear/owl hybrid has escaped. Me: Dont worry. I put a gps collar on it Scientest: So u can.. Me: Track my bowl movements, yes
@InigoUnleashed: 'Your place or mine?' Is the sexiest response to the question: 'Where shall we bury the body?'