@AnkCoupleTO: I'm always a little suspicious of women who say that they don't "remember things"
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@BrandonBrown522: Paranoid? I don't even know what that word means. I don't have time to learn new words, people are trying to kill me.
@hazelmotes1: *gets fired the first day on the job as an EMT for trying to cook a frozen burrito with the defibrillator*
@hansabumsadaisy: #rubbishjokes What do you call the soft tissue between a shark's teeth? The slowest swimmer.
@AristotlesNZ: Me: I cant tell you how to do everything. You need to figure out how to do things on your own 5yo: Ok Me:. 5yo:. Me:. 5yo: How do I do that?