@SteelFontana: I'm always creeped out by the guy who seems to know the age of consent laws a little too well.
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@Book_Krazy: The lazy river is my favorite ride at this amusement park. "Ahhhhh!" I scream as I float in a giant circle, not spilling my drink at all
@CastAwayKristen: Me: Dropped my phone & now screen doesn’t work. Help forum: Should’ve had a better case. Apparently, my mother works in Samsung support now.
@DanielRCarrillo: Raid™: For when you don't want to kill ants, but want to make them late for something.
@annaetuck: Congratulations, everyone who saw me and my kids at the mall today. That's the cheapest birth control you will ever have.