@Redfiascos: I'm always disappointed when I board a plane and there's no handsome man running after me to stop me. Thanks, hollywood.
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@TheCiscoKidder: Sorry I unfollowed you on Instagram, but you take at least 10 pics of your face everyday. I don't even look at my wife that much.
@daemonic3: [interview] What is your biggest weakness? "Sometimes I'm too succinct" Can you give an example? "Yes"
@david8hughes: [police car behind me] Me: shit, was that a red light back there? My dog: like a light grey Me: ... My dog: if that helps