@gorrdano: I'm always ready with my mallet when sewer workers poke their head up from under a manhole.
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@tinatbh: people: u should smile me: not unless u deposit 2 million dollars in my bank account thanks
@truegritrumble: (First Day as Mailman) ME: *wearing a suit made out of stapled together pieces of mail* Sup? BOSS: You're supposed to deliver those. ME: No.
@trojansauce: [after frodo throws the ring into the volcano] FRODO: well? VOLCANO: omg yes! FRODO: i love you VOLCANO: i love you too