@andylassner: I'm always sad when I see a homeless person or someone with a Blackberry.
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@nonsensetwit: My fear of spiders happened when I went to hit one with a newspaper, and it looked at me and did pushups saying "try again bro."
@BareChesty: I just found out I passed my drug test.... Which means my dealer has some explaining to do.
@DVSblast: A tragic kissout between police and suspects leaves over 15 innocent bystanders believing in love again
@causticbob: Two blondes walk into a building... you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.