@Kernsti: I'm always terrified when someone knocks on the door while I'm home alone as if murderers and burglars knock first
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@Book_Krazy: I call bullshit on vampires that look all sexy and shit when they can't even see their reflection
@trumpetcake: I said "Candyman" 5 times into the bathroom mirror and sure enough some woman came out of the stall and screamed at me for being in there.
@electrolemon: i'm so sorry sir, but we here at chase bank don't accept gun-for-money exchanges. and we need an amount, not just "all the money you got"
@HellisWorthit: I bet the worst part about kidnapping someone is knowing they are just sitting there in your trunk, judging your choice in music.