@TEXASVETERAN: I'm always there for my friends when I need them.
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@hammbone84: Neighbor: I always see your kids outside but hardly ever see you out there. Me: Oh, that's because my doors lock from the inside.
@PaperWash: Can I go out and do drugs tonight dad? EXCUSE ME?! *sighs* MAY I go out and do drugs tonight dad *snaps newspaper* that's better
@AndyAsAdjective: 11YR OLD: dad, are we poor? ME: we are rich in love…we are rich in laughter 11: so we're poor M: yes
@backupbear: For anyone interested, you'll find my complete Windows 8.1 review below: Still sucks.