@CulturedRuffian: I'm an Easter egg in the streets and a deviled egg in the sheets.
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@shariv67: I'm the most bashful person in the world, until you get me on the dance floor. Then I become the most bashful newborn giraffe in the world.
@SarahJonesVent: How to Parallel Park 1. Back in slowly 2. Nope wrong angle 3. Oh god, ur holding up traffic 4. Keep driving forever, u live in the car now
@yenniwhite: Take the road less traveled. Like, the one with the most mud, or the wettest grass, even if there’s a sidewalk nearby. -Kids
@newcastlecourt: Jimmy Bathwater, 27 of Howdon, pleaded guilty to roundhousing a seagull out the sky. He was fined £300 despite how impressive that sounds