@CulturedRuffian: I'm an Easter egg in the streets and a deviled egg in the sheets.
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@RidiculousSheri: "You look really pretty today," I said as I looked in the mirror, and my reflection replied, "And you...um, you have a GREAT personality."
@BoozyMusic: My new cat, John Cena, wants me to remind y'all to never let your kids name your pets.
@Bob_Heller: I love breakdancing. I don't do it... Or watch it, even. I just like it because it allows be to sell cardboard to rich white kids.
@Token_Geezer: Before twitter I would walk into a room and forget what I went in there for. nnNow, I don't even walk into the right room