@FrankConniff: I'm an Obama supporter but there's no escaping the harsh truth that Batman v Superman happened on his watch.
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@Diversion50: [supermarket] *Unpacks 60 items of groceries onto checkout area* CHECKOUT GIRL: I have a boyfriend. ME: Oh, OK. *slowly repacks trolley*
@Breadery: When we first dated I thought your freckles were dots of inexcusable cuteness. Now I can see how joined up they draw a pentagram.
@Brampersandon_: [zombie movie set] Director into megaphone: "We're about to start rolling. Look alive people!" *actors look around confused as heck*