@FrankConniff: I'm an Obama supporter but there's no escaping the harsh truth that Batman v Superman happened on his watch.
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@GabbbarSingh: People with Swiss bank accounts are often confused between their Bank balance and the Back Account number.
@XplodingUnicorn: My 5-year-old refused to eat her dinner because Netflix was running slow. At least she picked a worthy cause for her hunger strike.
@zachreinert03: Got asked to be godfather of my niece, so if anything happens to her parents then someone else has to take care of her because I said no
@stephenjmolloy: 'Keanu Can Canoe, Can You?' - instructional video in which actor Keanu Reeves teaches people how to use a canoe.