@djr_102: I'm an okay dancer until I whip out the finger guns, then I'm just majestic.
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@david8hughes: Therapist: so your parents also suffered from depression? Me: no they both liked it
@kelkulus: The Garden of Eden must have been one exciting place if the most tempting things were apples.
@corysnearowski: In WWII soldiers left burlesque magazines around so if an enemy found it he'd yell "HOt DOG" then howl like a wolf & give away his position
@iwearaonesie: If you use karate instead of a knife your wife won't ask you to cut the vegetables anymore