@djr_102: I'm an okay dancer until I whip out the finger guns, then I'm just majestic.
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@Book_Krazy: Hub: What's this? Me: A divorce jar. Every time we fight you put a dollar in & I'm a little closer to freedom. Hub: *puts $100 in* Me:...
@TayTayJustine: Look, if you can take a smoke break, I should be able to take a twitter break. It's not like one addiction outweighs the other, HR!
@Wine_Honey1: When placing an order online for a baby shower cake, make sure you're not half asleep. COPULATIONS! IT'S A BOY just confuses everyone.
@Mr_Kapowski: 90% of women that wear yoga pants probably don't do yoga. 100% of straight men don't care.