@ariscott: I'm at a hockey game and the players weren't really trying but then a guy 5 rows up yelled "come on" and then they tried harder.
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@jonnysun: "ice, ice, baby. ice, ice, bab--no ice-- no thats definitly a babey" - man who has a job sorting babys and ice at the ice & baby factorey
@ArfMeasures: TORTURER: I'm gonna water-board you ME: Haha sure, bet you haven't even got enough water TORTURER: *takes Tupperware out of the dishwasher* ME: Shit
@dafloydsta: [job interview] "Tell me a strength." I'm a decision maker. "Excellent. How about a weakness?" I'm a bad decision maker.