@hollywoodsigh: I'm at my classiest when my neighbor catches me begging my dog to shit faster because it's cold.
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@Sarcasticsapien: When someone says "excuse me while I slip into something more comfortable", how long are they usually gone? Two days seems like a long time.
@stuckinaportal: *walks in on son making batman & iron man action figures kiss* wtf? "dad i can explain" u should never EVER mix the dc & marvel universes