@novicefather: I'm at my most audacious and brazen when I shamelessly use words like audacious and brazen.
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@NicestHippo: It's disturbing that when we see a man's mustache fall off we assume it's an identity theft situation and not a medical emergency
@ShawtySouth: <--Goes to gym 3 times a week... Cannot separate two shopping carts stuck together at grocery store.
@bitterADDitude: Hair in bun=housework Hair in ponytail=oral sex Body language is important-So he doesn't get excited when I'm about to 2 scrub the toilet
@li4mst3w4rt: me: it's too hot *opens window* *in comes 305430 flies, 43866 spiders, 91193 moths, a serial killer, a paedophile and a burglar* (HELP)