@novicefather: I'm at my most audacious and brazen when I shamelessly use words like audacious and brazen.
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@markleggett: ACTORS: It's easy to appear blind. Look near but never at someone when you talk to them, and if anyone says "Did you see that?" say "Nope".
@XplodingUnicorn: My daughter's school was closed for fog. Back in my day, Godzilla could be destroying the city & the principal would be like "2-hour delay"
@TheMichaelRock: Coworker: Why don't you chat with us in the kitchenette in the morning? Me: Because I'm not paid to be your friend & you say kitchenette.