@CaniacMONK: I'm at my most brilliant when the door says "pull" and I don't believe it.
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@sammyrhodes: Marriage is like wine. It gets better with age. Also it makes you say things you regret.
@jergarl: Me: IT'S TIME TO SETTLE DOWN FOR THE NIGHT 8yo:*starts playing accordion M: Where did you even get that? 8:*making eye contact* No idea.
@QwertyJones3: "Yes, I need to check in." "Sir, this is a burn unit." "Yeah, I got hit hard with a series of jokes about my mom, and I had no comeback."