@CaniacMONK: I'm at my most brilliant when the door says "pull" and I don't believe it.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@hatehug: I've been listening to Pink Floyd for the past 2 hours. I'm about to just go ahead and skip to track 2.
@FilthyRichmond: Walmart keeps two elderly people on staff at all times: one to greet you, and one to walk slowly in front of you on the way out.
@Ohgoddessitsme: When I'm driving I listen to the country station because it makes me want to get to my destination faster.
@RamblingMachine: My crush said we can't be together because he's seeing another woman so I asked him to rub his eyes and check if I still look different.