@hpb777: I'm at my most British when the Benny Hill theme song plays while I'm half naked & being chased by my TC's wife who found me in his closet.
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@slimmy_shady: SIRI, CALL FOR HELP! Searching for kelp. OMGYOU IDIOT! SIRI, GET AN AMBULANCE! There are 23 listings for lap dance in your area.
@shawnspree: Girls that are 16 and pregnant look stupid now.. But their kids will move out when they are 34.
@shutupmikeginn: if someone asks me if I need help finding something in a department store I like to slowly describe a gun