@hpb777: I'm at my most British when the Benny Hill theme song plays while I'm half naked & being chased by my TC's wife who found me in his closet.
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@batkaren: I always date mathematicians. That way when they ask why I'm breaking up w/them I can say DO THE MATH JERRY. Oh yeah & I always date Jerries
@theroneman: [stacks of books on floor] Impressive, son. [son places pizza on one stack, soda & cookies on others] "Yep; perfect height" [turns on Xbox]
@bridger_w: "Oh, are you driving?" -Good question to ask someone as they force you into their trunk