@sarcasticmommy4: I'm at my most financial consultant when I tell the McDonald's employee what my change back should be.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@alyssawolff: *sees a woman struggling with a big suitcase up the stairs* Me: Need help with that? Her: Yeah! Me: *gives her a hug* You got this, girl.
@SatansTongue: *el chapo dies* God: okay I'm gonna have to send you to hell Chapo: ok *3 weeks later* Angel: El Chapo has escaped from hell
@TheAdly: All the good ones are taken. All the funny ones are fat. All the smart ones are ugly. All the ones with all of the above are fictional.