@sarcasticmommy4: I'm at my most financial consultant when I tell the McDonald's employee what my change back should be.
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@mostunladylike: *holds pen ready* "How many zeros in one million?" "Six" "Ok, thanks" *writes milli000000n*
@kcmoore51: [sanitation worker knocks at my door] The amount of McDonald's related trash we're collecting from your home each week has us concerned.
@TySmithdrums: Thousands of religions and you're damned if you choose incorrectly? There must be people in Hell asking,"So! What religion are you in for?"