@EliHansenMusic: I'm at my most immature when girls misspell "cologne" and start talking about how bad a man's colon smells
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@i_love_fudge: Somewhere in a parallel universe, I hope there's a giant dog with a tiny woman in her purse.
@SamuelHLowe: - 911,what's your emergency? - I'm out of beer! - That's no emergency. - Chest pain? - We'll send an ambulance. - Make sure they bring beer.
@QwertyJones3: Surgeon: I'm unable to perform this surgery. I've only got 10,000 spoons, when all I need is a knife.