@EliHansenMusic: I'm at my most immature when girls misspell "cologne" and start talking about how bad a man's colon smells
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@4handfuls: Her: What are your passions? Him: Meditating and gourmet food & drinks. Narrator: Which was code for sleeping, Cheez-its, and Capri Suns.
@SardonicTart: Sometimes I'm scared I'll miss my kids when they move out but then I find a bowl of cereal in the bathtub tub and I'm not so scared anymore.
@Playing_Dad: [At job interview] Interviewer: So tell me why you want this job. Me: I have no money and I prefer when I have money.
@MsSugar_Kisses: I need to chat with my coworker's husband.. If he was bangin' her properly, we wouldn't have to deal with her bad attitude..