@phalguy: I'm at my most NASCAR driver when I really have to pee.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@EndhooS: [storming out of the bedroom in a novelty banana costume] YOU'RE THE ONE THAT SAID THINGS WERE GETTING TOO PREDICTABLE KAREN...
@oxygenplug: if you ever wanna impress a girl just bring a baby on your date and then basically just outperform the baby at everything it's really easy
@theshamingofjay: Cop: did you do it? Me: no Cop: you know it's truthful Tuesday right? Me: it's actually Wednesday Cop: damn it, who's your crush then