@pinupteacher: I'm at my most pacman when I try and get to the snack table at a party without interacting with a single person.
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@Jam453Lane: They always say to follow your gut, that's why this is my 11th trip to the fridge for another beer.
@secondofhername: The downside of studying law: you think a lawsuit is the solution to all problems. *resists from threatening Dominos for not giving oregano*
@SteveKoehler22: Son : “Dad, who did I get my intelligence from ?" Dad : “It must be from your mother. I still have mine”
@suzieQ0007: Most people who think I'm a nice person have no idea that I'd trade any one of my kids for a deep dish pizza.