@JoshontheGo: I'm at my most "penguin", when I'm walking to get more toilet paper with my shorts around my ankles.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@laurajennyjo: I'm gonna start following my cat to the litter box and sit in her lap while she takes a shit
@Mikecanrant: T Rex isnt so scary if you imagine a bunch of baby T Rexes watching Barney just giggling and rolling around on the ground playing with keys.
@heatherlou_: I refuse to dismiss Thanksgiving. Any holiday dedicated to food & stretchy pants is worth celebrating.
@GypsyWingss: Mom: a little birdie told me you got drunk last night Me: you're the one friggen talking to birds